The Socks: Day 1

Today we started the process and adventure of making our lives more simple. The Christmas tree came down, the decorations got put away and a serious house cleaning happened. I went out to the garage and grabbed a medium sized box to start our first, of many, daily cleanse.

Now, I am a special education teacher who puts in way too many hours, my husband and I have plans most nights of the week, or we are out of the house at least 4 evenings in the average week. To think that getting rid of 16 items is going to be a daily occurrence is far-fetched and unrealistic for our lifestyle. While talking about this process together, we decided that as long as we get to 496 items by the end of January we would have met the challenge.

Today, I found 49 items to give up and donate to others who may need it more than me.

I want to share my thought process while giving up these items. First, these white socks. We had 6 pairs of white soccer socks that my husband used when he was a sophomore in high school. Yep! These socks have been with us for 9 years!

My husband had a hard time getting rid of these today. He claimed that they were memories of high school and what if our kid plays soccer one day? Frustrated at this point, because come on! they are just socks!, I told him that we are getting rid of them without a debate. I explained that because he had not worn them for 9 years but we have carted them around to different living spaces he has grown an attachment to their visual presence rather than their actual functionality. They have been in his traveling sock drawer for years and when he goes to get socks tomorrow, they will not be there anymore. This will be hard for him but I can see this process getting harder on him as the weeks progress and we don’t have ‘easy’ things to donate.

Second, this stupid black bicycle shirt. I found it at Goodwill a year or so ago and I have yet to wear this for a few reasons. I don’t bike enough or have a serious urge to bike and when I put it on today, my bellybutton was peeking out. This is the classic, “If I purchase this biking top, maybe I will be more inclined to go biking and I will learn to love biking because biking is something that I want to do more but I need this shirt to prove my love for biking. Therefore, buy the shirt.” I remember having these thoughts when I bought this top and I remember having buyers remorse when I got home. Finally, it is leaving the back corner of my closet and going to someone who might actually like competitive biking.

                

49 items down, 447 to go. I am starting to realize how large this number is and starting to get nervous about the amount of things that will be leaving this house. But, it is all to be more simplistic and less fixated on material possessions. We can do this. You can do this!

Here’s to You, College Graduate

“Crazy how comfortable you get as 4 years go by. Then you gotta jump into the real world. A new environment. A new life. Don’t be afraid of the jump. The jump is just a new beginning!”- Anonymous

 

First and foremost, congratulations on making it through college and receiving a degree in a field that you hope will bring you joy, happiness, and financial stability. Congratulations for pushing through countless papers, staying up until the early morning completing that assignment that you procrastinated on for a full weekend (if not longer), and for creating some of the greatest memories to date. You are free, for the next six months, to adventure and grow into the adult that you were meant to be. Congratulations on sliding into adulthood with two feet forward and continuing to better yourself and the people around you.

Good. Now with that said:

IT’S A TRAP! TURN AROUND AND GO BACK!

Okay, maybe it is not a trap. Maybe it is just a large black hole that you are continuing to fall down and cannot seem to find the string to pull your parachute to help you land safely without crashing and burning. Yeah. That sounds more like it.

Graduating college has a similar timeline as grieving. First is shock. You did it! Your family and friends are congratulating you and you cannot get enough of the feeling of accomplishment. Soon after, you start feeling pain. Pain from leaving the town that you grew to love. Pain from leaving your friends and professors that you have become so close with. This pain takes over the feeling of shock quickly as you watch the empire you built for the past four to five years crumble. Within a week, you forget about the pain that you held in your heart and begin to become angry or bargain for your college life back. You start to think over the past five years and think about mistakes you made, things you could have done better and really feel ashamed of the opportunities you did not capitalize on. You are not angry at the university or the people around you, just yourself. You also become angry at the amount of job applications being sent out with hopes of a promising career, but you sit by the phone day after day anxiously waiting for the employer to call. You become angry with the career path you chose and angry with your efforts. Don’t be alarmed when the university sends out your college bill almost immediately after graduation, because this will make you even more angry and on the verge of tears. This quickly turns into a depression. Another name for this is ‘Bing-watching Netflix because you can’t even afford to get coffee with a friend.’ You begin to believe that you will never get a job. That you should have started grad school right away. You start calculating your student loan payments and start thinking about new ways to produce income because you are realizing that watching Netflix all day will not make you a penny. You become reluctant to people offering support and offering money. You believe that you can do this on your own! Once you are done loathing on your self pity and want to move on, you begin the upward turn out of depression and get back on that horse. You may only sit in a bing-watching state for a week before making your turn upward. You become so angry that you decide to apply to everything and anything because you can, because you have a college degree and because you want to make a difference in people’s lives. Onto the next stage of reconstruction and hope, you get a phone call, or two or even three! YES! Finally someone has shown me the light! Someone believes in me! Someone is going to be my parachute and make sure that I am going to be okay. You are excited to set up interviews, ready to talk about yourself and accept a job or an opportunity. You are going to grad school. Whatever it is, you have made it and your jump is becoming less scary and more exciting. You accept that you are growing up and you are ready to take on the world, similar to the day you walked across that stage and shook the president’s hand.

You are ready!

To be honest, college graduate. You won’t get the job of your dreams right away. You need to accept that you cannot run a company or manage a group of adults fresh out of college. Create a name. Create a ‘brand’. Sculpt yourself and make sure you are the best you can be. You are an adult and your decisions will be with you for the rest of your life. You cannot fall back on your parents or on your lack of knowledge because that is no longer an excuse, and that’s okay! Make mistakes! Enjoy this opportunity that you are given and make it worth every ounce of energy you have. Take care of those around you, your work colleagues and more importantly, take care your yourself and your interpersonal being. You can do this college grad. You have been given the tools and the materials necessary. Now go build a life worth living!

What’s wrong with adulting?

“You know the path child, now follow it!” -Grandmother Willow

Being only 23, I still have a lot of life and learning ahead of me. I realize that my life as an adult is just beginning and there is already this ora of “adulting” and being responsible that is creeping up like a storm on a warm summers night. Being an adult should be a rush. Being an adult should be enlightening. Being an adult should be a pure experience of your capabilities. Being an adult should be a reflection on the lessons taught to you while growing through adolecense. The last four months has given me a lot of eye opening experiences along with lessons that were tough to learn but in the end, it’ll be worth it because I am transforming into a more educated and well-rounded… well, adult.

I think a lot of college graduates struggle with their identity and who they should and will become. Throughout their childhood they are pushed into different sports, activities, and clubs just to figure out what they do and don’t like. Soon after the pressure of perfection and authenticity becomes overwhelming and they forget their true passions. So I challenge you, no matter your age, sit with the beverage of your choice (Mine is usually coffee in the morning) in a place that you can just relax and think about what you believe, where you want to go, and what your purpose is here on Earth. Think about who you are and not what you are trying to be. For the last two years I have been trying to be someone that I am not. I was getting pulled into so many different directions that it became tiring to wake up and be something that was fake and made up. I realized that being an adult didn’t mean perfection. I didn’t have to smile every day non-stop because it is okay to have a bad day. I realized that being an adult meant being unique and being an adult meant finally being who you truly are and not caring about the stereotypes that followed. Being an adult means letting go of who you were and become who you really want to be. Support and believe whatever you damn well please. No one can stop you. If you grew up in a family that was very conservative but your liberal butterfly is just waiting to fly, let it out and embrace the ability to finally become who you were dentin to be.

Embrace being an adult. We waited 18 years to get here and we are just getting started! Being an adult is hard. It is. No one is going to deny that. But being an adult is as hard as you make it because you have control over many avenues of your life. We are finally responsible enough to pay bills and be accountable. When you think about it, we were in an 18 year training to become an adult and now it is our time to shine. We need to show the world everything that we know and show everyone else that we are able to successfully adult. You will be low on money. You will. Deal with it. Don’t go out to Chipotle two times a week and you’ll be amazed at how much your back account thanks you. Don’t worry about the finer things in life because those will come. They come with age and experience. You will be living paycheck to paycheck but the way that you handle the stress and reality of adulting will define you.. When I was growing up I told my mom, “I can’t wait to be an adult because I want to get mail. I can’t wait to grow up so I can have my own house. I can’t wait to grow up so I can buy my own car. I can’t wait to grow up so I can have a job and earn money.” My mother’s response was the same every time, “You’ll be an adult, but don’t forget to be a kid too.” Don’t forget to be a kid.  Being an adult is a powerful thing. Don’t forget to sit back, have fun, and crack open a juice box.

Adults create meaningful goals. Well, if I’m going to be an adult, I should start making goals that are obtainable. No more making crazy goals about having a job that pays $50,000 right out of college and moving West to become a climber and live in the mountains. Yes, that sounds like an amazing life but it is not realistic. Make goals that are both long term and short term. In the short term, I would like to get through student teaching and receive a reasonable job offer. Obtainable. I would like to get married. Obtainable. I want to go kayaking with orcas, mildly obtainable but becoming a bit far-fetched. Put your heart into the goals that you set and make them come true. What is the purpose of living this life given to us if we are just going through the motions and living on pilot mode? Make your life worth something and drive yourself forward to success. That’s what adults do.

Lets be honest, adulting is tricky. Adulting is stressful. Adulting is work. We worked so hard to get here, live in the moment and enjoy the freedom of being able to control your life, ideas, and future.

In cross country, you were either someone who liked to chase, or someone who like to lead. I like to chase. I was always pushing to beat the person ahead of me because I wanted to be better. Others worked their hardest to be ahead of everyone and maintain the lead. Are you a chaser or a leader?

Where is my mind…?

“Way out in the water, see it swimming.” -Trampled By Turtles

At least once a year, I question what I want to do with my life. Where I want to live. What I want to be when I grow up. What do I believe. Who will I follow and what brings me total happieness? I base my life around goals and dreams. Often, I find myself getting slapped in the face and having to move on. That, is the beauty of it.

There is a fine line between an obtainable goal and a goal that is just so robust that not even the most achieving person can complete. I set many goals that will never be met. Even though subconsiously I know that goal will never be met, I still set it anyways. I know that I will become disappointed at some point, it happens. We can only control our future to a certain extent. There is a certain joy that always follows disappointment. Even though there is disappointment, I still set huge goals. Behind that goal is a special drive that is unlike any other. That drive takes over my life and helps me take the necessary steps to become successful. Without goals and dreams, what do we have to live for? What is the one thing that makes us wake up every day? Is it family? Is it the person you’ve woken up next to? Something has to drive us to see another day.

The difference between a goal and a dream… nothing. In my opinion, nothing. My dreams are my goals and my goals are my dreams. I dream about waking up in the mountains one day and going out for morning kayak around the lake. I dream about climbing The North Face and Half Dome. I dream about living in Seattle and drinking a cup of coffee watching the Orcas swim by. I also dream about having a beautiful family with the man that I love. I dream about living to be 100 and just embracing life. I dream about pure happiness.

Recently, I have taken the time to think about my future and where I want to be in the next few years. What I want to be doing and who is going to be by my side cheering me on the whole way. I now know my purpose. I understand why I am here today. It is an enlightening and rich experience to understand what your purpose is in life. It makes me want to collapse and be flooded with emotion. My future is bright, and so is yours. Where is your mind?

Who is going to be cheering for you?